Brain Dump

Another Year....

2007-05-08T10:10:00.000-07:00

This year...what can I say? It seems like we were hoping too hard that this year would be better, less financial problems, less health problems for Evan, get back on track, etc. But life threw us a major curve ball this year. (Not sure about the baseball analogy).

We lost our dear Dad in Febuary. One day he was fine, helping out with car shopping for Taira, going to work, getting ready to help with Evan's birthday party...then he seemed to have the flu, then he was in the emergency room. He had apparently suffered a stroke. He had surgery after the first stroke to remove the pressure on his brain stem, and never really recovered after that. Most of February was spent at the hospital, then the hospice, balancing between hope and despair. During all of this, I quit my job (a long story), and Evan left Hearn Academy. So now I'm home-schooling, mostly just to get us through until summer, and hopefully get Evan back in a new school in the fall. My persective on life has changed so much.

So another convention has come and gone. Another chance to catch up with the "girls". Lynzee is about to have a baby boy. Melissa just moved back to San Diego. Taira and I went to Mad Scrappers for NSD, and I created a "Road Trip" cigar box album that the owner wants me to teach in a class. I was really excited about it Saturday, but today I'm just blah. Blah, blah, blah. Lots of stuff I "should" be doing. Getting the house ready to sell (ha!) Working on getting Evan ready for school in the fall. Planning summer activities for him. Working on my new web site, "Scrap Getaway", which will offer monthly kits and scrap retreats. Trying to figure how to make some money. I suppose a therapist would say that I'm blocking my feelings right now, hence the "blah" feeling. I'm either too high or too low.

Back from Nowhere

2007-01-26T16:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I quit the blogging thing. I was very busy starting my "new life", with all it's challenges. I've been working at IAC (Insurers Administration Corporation) since last April. It started out rough, got boring, now it's interesting. I also shanghaied Joni Parker into working here, too. She had the computer skills and was looking for a more permanent job. So we've been sitting next to each other ever since July...until today, when she got moved down the row. But we have a plan that involves two cans and a string.

I can't believe all the things that have happened in everyone's lives in the last year. Three of "my girls" got married: Lynzee, Brianna, and Dani. Two, no make that three, of my girls had babies: Christina, Melissa, and Kristel on Jan 1st. If it weren't for the weddings and baby showers I probably wouldn't have any idea what's going on with anyone from the store. I did get to see some of them when we had our crop last summer.

So now I am ready to plan the Circle Journal. I want to add a "where are they now" theme, we could each do 2 pages (or a double page spread) THEN..and NOW. THEN being our favorite memories about the store, how we met and got involved in each others lives, NOW being what we have done since the store closed. I hope everyone still wants to do this! I would like to do an 8x8 format. Everyone that wants to participate can build their own book. We will make enough pages for everyone that wants them.

I'm all signed up for the Mesa Convention in April, so is Taira and Joni. Mom will be out of town. :( We're doing our usual routine, going down Friday and spending the night. We are NOT going to the organized crop, though, the last two were SO LAME. Anyone care to pass a big "R" around again? Instead, Taira and I are hosting a "card swap". We are going to design and decorate our own card files, and make cards together. Each person will bring their card ideas, and the supplies to make them. If anyone wants to participate, let me know. We were going to sign up for the "official card swap" but decided to save ourselves the $32 and do what WE wanted to do.

Anyone want to meet at Sluggo's Friday night? Or Saturday Lunch?

Hugs and Kisses to all. I will be sending an email about the Circle Journal, since no one probably reads this blog anymore.....

CK Convention Chills and Thrills

2006-04-25T19:13:00.000-07:00

I had tons of fun at the convention! The first day was some cool classes, then lots of fun at the Crop with Joni, Mom, and Taira. And who could forget Kim Kesti's "Sob contest"?

Saturday I had a hard time getting excited about more classes, but my first one was taught by Laurie Stamas (which is why I took it). Way cool book using Junkitz Salsa collection! The Scrap Daddy class was lame, unless you like lots of cutting. But the class kit was cool, so I skipped. Ran into Candy, Lynzee, Jori (JR), Christina and gang at Sluggo's (for my 3rd meal there). Had lots of fun catching up and making plans to GO CROP!

Our third class was where the "chills" came in. I took a phone call which lasted half the class (thanks to my dear sweet Evan). Since I had no chance of catching up, I started looking at the class kit. I noticed that the Vintage Hip letters packaging was like a giant tag. So I thought, hmmmm....great way to make a book! Taira got all excited about it, so we started working on it. Jodi from Making Memories was checking it out, and when we finished we showed it to Margie. Well, she freaked out! She totally embarrassed me showing it to the class! But then I got a free Idea Book, Decorate Life: Scrapbooks. She also gave us some more class kits. Then she posted our picture on the MM Blog:

Hangin' out with Making Memories

Too fun! Thanks Margie and Jodi!

Also got to catch up with my dear friend Erika, and talk to Leslie Miller from CK! And check out Becky H's cute little girl, who is seriously the most beautiful little baby I've ever seen.

Great weekend, great inspiration!

I love my sister!

2006-03-29T08:59:00.000-08:00

Any of you who have had the gift of meeting my sister, Taira, you know what I'm talking about. She is so generous, loving, and fun. She helps me when I need it most. Okay, so maybe there's a little co-dependence going on....but it's hard to separate our lives. And I don't want to!

Here is a picture of Taira taken at a baseball game last summer. It was so Taira, the funky hair thing, the mardi gras beads, the big smile....

She is struggling, as I am, to go on with our lives. We poured our heart and soul into the store. It was ours together. And it hurts to see it gone. Did it really matter to anyone but us? I think it did. I want to do a scrapbook about the store, and how it touched other peoples lives. If you want to contribute, let me know. Maybe we'll do one of those books - like a circle journal (wow, almost couldn't remember the name of it anymore).

I got to see Candy, Lynzee, Brianna, Danielle, Christina, Jori, and Sue at Lynzee's wedding on the 18th. It was very bittersweet. I didn't realize how much I missed everyone, and how I was avoiding them to avoid the painful memories. Why can't I focus on the good ones? I cried all over Candy and Brianna, I miss them so much, and I have such mixed emotions when I see them. I feel like I let everyone down. Now I am tearing up again. Will I ever heal from this?

I wish I had pictures of the girls, they were all so beautiful. And Candy was radiant, there's no other word for it. And Lynzee, truly the beautiful, regal princess with her court of ladies. All the beautiful lavender and purple! And the bouquets were gorgeous, I wanted to take one home!

I danced with my husband for the first time in probably 10 years. And had a great time dancing with the girls to "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy". Funny how that song sticks with me, even though it's nasty ole' country music!

I have a real need to reconnect with everyone. I think it's part of getting on with my life. So if you're reading this, leave me a note. I miss you all, and think about you often.

Feeling Creative..a new look

2006-01-26T09:40:00.000-08:00

I am really wanting to be creative and just play around with artsy stuff. So I redid the "look" of my blog. What do you think?

Note to Self....

2006-01-20T08:10:00.000-08:00

Note to self...avoid taking career interest quizzes after you've resigned yourself to going back to work.....

Here is how I scored on a career interest quiz:

"Alana, based on your responses, your top career area is Fine Arts

Careers in this field often demand that you be a naturally creative person who possesses a unique perspective on the world, and ultimately you want to share that vision with others. Most likely, you have a deep and rich inner world that needs an outlet. Whether you're into music, drama, painting or another artistic field, you probably possess a heightened appreciation for experiencing the world on a sensory level."

Well, computer programming can be creative. sometimes.

No, I'm not dead....just hibernating

2006-01-19T09:13:00.000-08:00

For those of you who check occasionally to see if I'm still alive and blogging, thanks. I know at least one person (bling) who checks back often enough that she could quote the date and title of my last entry....which was my birthday, less than a week after the store closed. She removed my link from her blog list in disgust, hopefully she'll give me another chance!

What have I been doing? Taking a lot of naps. Doing a lot of soul-searching. Practicing a lot of denial and procrastination. The only positive thing I've been doing is working out twice a week, thanks to my dear sister and Erika, and Clay. It's given me physical energy, at least, even though I haven't had the desire to accomplish anything.

I had so many plans during this "interlude". Clean the house top to bottom. Decorate, get crafty, get semi-domestic. Scrapbook more. Get organized. Catch up on my laundry!

What have I accomplished:

- Organized my "scrap studio", although there's still boxes and boxes of junk from the store to go through. But my personal stuff is *mostly* done.
- Unpacked many boxes from the store, with many more to go.
- Adopted a cute kitty named Emma.
- Cleaned the gerbil cage a few times.
- Signed up for a .NET class, worked on sporadically.
- Created and updated the online store. Ordered some new product. Filled some orders.
- Some scrapbooking, mostly at organized scrap get-togethers and retreats.
- Started crocheting. It's very slow and tedious.
- Volunteered to be "historian" for the Cub Scout Pack.

On the positive side, we did have a nice, relaxing Christmas. I can't remember ever being this relaxed. No pressures, no expectations, no retail store, no in-laws. And we *almost* have the decorations put away (they're in boxes, just not in the attic yet).

So, what now? I'm updating my resume, something that makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about it. I can't even explain how hard it is for me to go back to work. I'm not sure I completely understand myself. Is it feeling like a failure? Giving up my dream? My old anxieties and self-doubting? Fear of being able to stick to a schedule?

I will have to take it one day (or week) at a time. But time (and money) is something I've run out of. So no more procrastating and denial. This is the real world. I guess I'd better rejoin it.

Or I could take another nap.....

Don't wanna be an American Idiot....and other random thoughts...

2005-11-11T10:46:00.000-08:00

Wow. Who woulda thought I would like KARAOKE???!!!! I've made fun of it for years! But it's strangely addicting.

Here's a summary of our "show" last night at Gallagher's:

Taira - Mack the Knife
Alana - American Idiot
Both - Save a horse, ride a cowboy!
Both - Deadbeat Club
Taira - Last Dance

Too fun! I was really channeling Erika on the Big & Rich!

I haven't had a carefree evening like that since.....I can't even remember when. Shopping for a new outfit, hangin' out at Gallagher's with the gals (and Rick and Evan for awhile), playing trivia, which I WON thank you very much (ok, only one round, and there were only 3 or 4 people playing)...and bringing out my extroverted side a little. Like I told Taira on the way home, I could never have done the Karaoke if I still owned the store. I just couldn't relax that much, and especially not in front of my "employees"!

Got new KI Christmas and Winter lines, also Making Memories Simply Fabulous, which it is! Joni was my first customer, plus got a view of my messy house. Now I gotta clean up and organize it to show her in a few weeks!

Finishing up old store business, and starting on the online store. Evan is off today and yesterday, which of course is distracting. Plus we are supposed to go to the zoo for our annual birthday trip. Is it going to rain or not?

Missing Delilah today, she would have been 20. She almost made it. I miss her crawling on top of me and laying on my chest when I'm in bed. Also following me around the house.

Mixed feelings

2005-10-28T09:13:00.000-07:00

It doesn't seem true. I feel like I'm in a bubble, or numb. Is this really it? I was 90% certain we would be closing, probably before the end of the year. Then WHAM, the decision is taken out of my hands. I have felt every emotion: extreme grief, terror, sadness, regret and yes, even relief. I don't want the store to be gone. I just don't want to run it anymore.

Everyone has been so fantastic. No one seemed particularly surprised, at least on the staff. I guess it's been pretty obvious for a while that we're struggling.

So what if we raise the money I owe right away? Would I try to change anything? I don't honestly know. Is it too late to go back?

Evan is turning cartwheels. Not real ones, but mental and emotional ones. He is so relieved and happy, it makes me feel guilty that he has been so affected by all this. Not just the time I spent at the store, but the money problems, depression, and stress of the last year. Maybe I can be a more focused and happier Mommy now.

I just need to get through the next week with "class and grace". I actually had someone say that about me (Bek) and it really surprised me. It's what I'd like to be, and maybe on the surface I show this.

Above all, I WILL keep my sense of humor about this. No more staff meetings! Forget publishing the November calendar! No more payroll taxes! Or payroll! And just imaging the cool scrapbook area I will have at home! (now I just have to find a place for it :)

If you've watched "The Hitchhikers's Guide to the Galaxy", I mean REALLY watched it, there is a "really deleted scene" in the extras, where Arthur, Ford and Zaphod burst in, commando style. Let me paraphrase:

"We're Sisters, Scrappin' Sisters. DO PANIC! M***** ****{BLEEP}*****!"

Kinda sums it all up for me.

Goodbye Delilah

2005-10-13T09:18:00.000-07:00

We had Delilah put to sleep on Saturday. I'm so glad she is at peace now.

Memory Trends was fun! It was a last minute decision to go, since Erika wanted to go and I had the room reservations....got to see lots of friends, Jessie, Leah, Teresa, even Tracy! I also Donna Downey at the Primedia event. I still need to send her that tag I made months ago!

LOVE the new BasicGrey and KI! Not a real surprise, since they are my favorite two lines! Also love the new Technique Tuesday stamp fonts...WOW! I dropped some major bucks there....and Erika is on their design team now, which is super cool! Also Jessie, Leah, Kim, Ally.....almost the whole "pen"! Also ordered some new Bazzill stuff, the die cut and chipboard flowers, the new color trios, the cool polka-dot brads, and the new software...picked up some of the American Crafts ribbon by the yard, too! Also put in a big order for All My Memories Tote-ally cute bags and new totes, but they are way behind on shipping right now. Lots of new bags out there, the new Making Memories line is sharp! Ordered the Junkitz Earth line, also Teresa's new Christmas papers, a bunch of new CK books, what else?

News flash: SEI is back! They have a cool new line called "twitterpated", which for the uninitiated is a word from Bambi...it's beautiful! It's not on their website yet.

I got to show Rachel at BasicGrey my new notebook decorated with Skate Shoppe...she loved it and asked me to show her newsletter editor, who asked me to submit it to the gallery...I also plan to make another one to send to Rachel. She is so nice! Here's a picture, check for it soon in the BasicGrey gallery!

I'm getting excited about starting an online store. Trying to decide which products to feature, what shopping cart to use....what additional features to add.

I think my quick jaunt to Memory Trends may have been the attitude adjustment I needed. Getting away for a few days, and seeing how other stores and companies are doing. It was not the normal frenzy, much more low key and low pressure. I spent much more time just chatting. It constantly amazes me how many people I recognize!

Here is a quick preview of BasicGrey and KI.....

What's in a Name......

2005-10-06T12:25:00.000-07:00

Cool Web Site! Courtesy of Kim Kesti:

What's in a Name

Alana
Bright fair, beautiful child : Irish

Charming, witty, original and idealistic you have a creative and inventive mind with great intuition. Your broad vision, perceptive powers and compassion gives you an instinctive understanding of peoples needs. You are a natural leader who has a talent for inspiring and teaching others and always display fairness, honesty and integrity. You are always seeking a new challenge for your vast creative potential.

Hmmmm...May be pretty close....

Altaira

You are a visionary with courage and enthusiasm if a little hasty at times. Your ambitious nature can be satisfied when you apply wisdom, patience and self-discipline to your vitality and zest. You have wonderful way with words and may be drawn to the communications arena where there is the potential for great success. Your generous and warm nature attracts many friends and loved ones.

Wow!

Delilah Update:

Her biopsy results were not good. She has some type of cancerous growth, in a very difficult to operate place. Added to her old age, it would be cruel to operate on her. Radiation is a possibility, but won't necessarily work since the growth is already so large. Poor kitty was throwing up a lot last night. I don't know how long I can stand to put her through this. I've always believed in waiting until the last possible minute to put a pet to sleep, but it seems silly to prolong her misery when at the end of it the result is the same. If it were me....that's too hard to answer.

I'm really, really trying to be positive....

2005-10-05T11:01:00.000-07:00

but it's just not working. I survived the taxes, spent a day and a half tracking down business expenses and saving us an extra $8000....but now my kitty, Delilah, is sick. I have to wait until 1pm to find out the results of her biopsy. She has a large lump on her jaw. She weighed 5 1/2 pounds before she was shaved. She is still eating, still moving around, but she gets sick often, and just doesn't seem quite right.

Here is a picture of Delilah during happier days:

Thank you everyone who has let me know, either here or verbally, that I'm not alone. I'm going through a bad time right now, I know things will get better. I have to keep trying, but sometimes I just want to crawl back in bed and hide. Don't mean to be a downer.......at least Evan is in school today, very stuffed up, still coughing, but with his new glasses. He has Cub scouts tonight which always makes him happy. I have a staff meeting to look forward to....I'm going to let the gals help me pick out some good holiday papers to order. Any suggestions?

Taxes, Taxes, Taxes.......

2005-09-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

I hate taxes. I guess everyone does. But I never knew until I owned a business how complicated taxes can be. Sales Tax, State and City. Employee Taxes: Unemployment, Social Security, FICA, whatever....cleverly disguised as numbers: 940 and 941. Not to mention the AZ Quarterly withholding (which is NOT income tax, so I don't know what it's for)...and then there's the annual corporate taxes, and everyone's favorite personal Income Tax. And the other quarterly taxes, that you're supposed to be reporting if you're self-employed, but that my accountant didn't seem to think I needed, and now I obviously do....good thing I haven't paid myself anything this year! Ok, there was that one time I paid myself $500 dollars...but spread out over the year, that works out to less than $50 per month!

I'm up to my eyeballs in tax forms right now. Which is why I'm blogging, not working. :( I have to redo our 2004 coporate taxes to include all of our business expenses that were missed the first time. Then that affects our personal taxes, which also have to be redone. Hopefully the result of all this is paying less taxes, as long as I can find all the documentation I'm looking for....

I feel like I've been in a bubble for the last few years....cut off from reality and normal life. My reality has been the store. And Evan. Other things try to pierce the bubble from time to time, but don't make much of a dent. Now the bubble is thinning (ok, weird analogy, but I'm going to go with it) and I can see my life more clearly now, and what the last 3 1/2 years have brought me...the sacrifices, personal and financial that I've made for the store. It's really a beautiful store, almost where I dreamed it would be. But at the end of this long road (new analogy) is it really worth it? What do I have to show for it? Certainly not money, I'm still struggling to balance between the rent, payroll, new inventory, advertising....will I become another in a long line of stores that will close? Photographic Memories, Remember When, Scraps 'n Stamps, A Scrapper's Dream, now Memory Basket. Not to mention (ok, I will) Craft Mart, and all the smaller stores that closed that no one really noticed....Scrappy Cat Alley, Just Scrap It, Desert Scrappers, Memories Well Planned....also some of the stamp stores, including Artisan Stamps, just down the road. And this is only "my part" of Phoenix, doesn't even touch Tempe, Mesa, or Chandler.

What can I say?

2005-09-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

Warning: Long and Moody Post

So...I haven't been motivated to post anything lately. My mood seems to jump around so much lately (or always). My focus is gone, and I'm not sure where I'm going anymore.

I told Rick (DH) the other day that the two reasons I still want to keep the store are:

1) Pride
2) Need someplace for me and my friends to scrap

I think I can cross #1 off the list. I don't really care what anyone thinks if we decide to close, I just have to do what's right for us. But ask me in an hour, and I'll be rarin' to go again!

Reasons to not keep the store:

1) Get my life back! Focus on something else!
2) Spend more time at home, with Evan.
3) Start using our money for something else, like retirement
4) Maybe find a real job? Contribute to the household income?
5) Catch up on laundry, really CLEAN the house.

See, this is why I don't post very often. Too many dark thoughts.

If you're reading this, and don't know me very well, let me just warn you that I'm a "bit" moody. I am also totally burned out on the scrapbook store. But I still want to make it work! I'm just tired of every thought, conversation, vacation, everything, being about the store. It's like it's become an entity unto itself! It's much bigger than I am. It exists without me. It is a sum of all the people who care or are involved in it....the employees, the design team, the great customers, the reps, and of course my family. I have met so many incredible people thru it, and seen so many people become friends. It's so meaningful and gratifying when it works well. But there are always the times it slows down, or some financial crisis rears its' ugly head, or I'm exhausted from all the time I spend on a particular project/event, stuff gets stolen, employee issues, the toilet breaks, yadda, yadda, yadda....

On the bright side, it was nice to see friends this weekend at the convention. Jessie and Leah especially. I would post a picture of Jessie & I but I don't know where my camera is, probably at the store. I can't believe that no one was taking pictures Saturday night! My mental snapshots: the broken toilet, the broken table, the champagne bottle, Ally painting her drawers, Jessie dumping Leah's bag, Gillian dropping her stamp, crowded around the TV watching the Tracy's Pen rap video...what a dork I was! Reliving the "pen" days and looking through photos...sigh....the glory days. When you have an amazing weekend/experience like CKU-M, it makes everything else seem mundane. You can try to recapture the experience, but it's never the same.

Okay, now for some POSITIVE THINKING! I was looking through the latest issue of Scrapbook Retailer...really the best trade magazine out there! I saw so many ideas I want to implement in the store...even the cover is an inspiration, with the beautiful ribbons in rich jewel tones....

THE LIST:

1) Organization class - we already had this idea, "Store It!" More tips in here!
2) New gift cards
3) Open House with gift wrap and tag ideas
4) Calendar class
5) Making decisions using numbers instead of emotion
6) Focusing on our "brand"
7) More personalizing in the store
8) Cultivating new customers through non-traditional advertising methods
9) A recipe book - Deanna already has this covered!
10) Lots more holiday ideas

And of course, THE SURVEY. I've got to get that done!

I'm starting to see some new stuff and previews for Memory Trends. I wonder if anything will rock the scrapbook world? Or are we too jaded for that?

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming...

We got a sales table at the convention crop!

2005-09-08T09:12:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I'm excited or panicked! We got the sales table we wanted at the Friday night convention crop! Now to decide what to carry.....need to find out if there are products that are already being carried.....I would love to carry Scrapworks, but they may already be spoken for....any ideas? Anyone? Anyone? I know we can't get Basicgrey in time.... :(

I'm thinking Arctic Frog, Urban Lily, KI?

Happy Birthday Kim!

September Update....

2005-09-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

So far I'm surviving September. I made it through the Sept 1st presentation, which was great, and they donated money in our name to the Katrina relief fund! Also made it through the End of Summer Scrap (well, I did leave early). Then we got it into our heads to move some stuff around Sunday. We'd been kicking the idea around for at least 6 months, to organize the store into better "zones": Basics, By Theme, By Line. We finally came up with a plan we liked. It looks amazing, even though the changes are somewhat subtle. When Rick finishes the rack he's working on, we can get rid of the white slatwall thing! Then maybe we can tackle the wire paper racks.

I can't wait to talk to Ally and Kim about their trip and Good Karma...so excited!

This Saturday is Ready, Set, Scrap. I don't know if we'll have a lot of people, it used to be a standing room only class. I think we need to promote it/explain it better.

I'm so excited for the AZ convention! Especially to see "old" friends, and the other gals in the "pen". Here is my schedule:

BasicGrey Mini Book (Friday, September 16) 9:50 am - 10:50 am
Sponsored by: embellish IT!

About Life (Friday, September 16) 12:30 pm - 1:30 pm
Sponsored by: Making Memories
Teacher's Assistant Seat

Bookin' With Bazzill (Friday, September 16) 1:50 pm - 2:50 pm
Sponsored by: embellish IT!

Got Flowers? (Friday, September 16) 4:30 pm - 5:30 pm
Sponsored by: Prima Marketing

Fun-Filled Friday Night Crop With Scrapworks
(Friday, September 16) 7:00 pm - 11:30 pm

A Day in the Life...Scrapworks Mini Album
(Saturday, September 17) 11:10 am - 12:10 pm

BasicGrey Altered Book With K&Company
(Saturday, September 17) 1:50 pm - 2:50 pm
Sponsored by: K&Company

"These Are Days" File Folder Book
(Saturday, September 17) 3:20 pm - 4:50 pm
Sponsored by: Rusty Pickle
Teacher's Assistant Seat

Taira and I may switch the Basic Grey Altered Book class with her Michael Miller Frame class TA spot...

Then the Saturday Night Crop...Yay!

Warning: Crazy September ahead...

2005-09-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's already September! I have a crazy schedule of stuff coming up for the store:

Sept 1st (TONIGHT): Present to 60 ladies at a church group. Do a make 'n' take 12x12 page (which is beautiful, thanks to my talented sister!)

Sept 2nd (friday): usual Friday Madness

Sept 3rd (Saturday): End of Summer Scrap! AARRGGHH! I need to order the food today! Buy the decorations! Plan the projects and giveaways! Find some music!

Sept 10th (Saturday): Ready, Set, Scrap - need to design the sketch book (which I'm looking forward to!) Also order/plan what type of organizers to include and sell.

Sept 14th (Wed): Scrapworks mini class/make 'n take! This should be fun! Do I need to order additional stuff??? So thrilled they asked us!

Sept 15th (Thurs) Rusty Pickle class - need to talk to Lance!!

Sept 16th (Fri): AZ CONVENTION - need to plan promotional/giveaway ops. already ordered shirts, thank goodness! and some cute totes!

Sept 17th (Sat): AZ CONVENTION, TRACY'S PEN private scrap

Sept 24th (Sat): Alter it! Need to make the folder again since some LAME-O stole it!

Then I get a rest to catch up and plan for Memory Trends, leaving Oct 6th, coming back Oct. 12th. It will be a blast! Evan gets to visit LV over the weekend, I can't wait to take him to the M&M Store!

WHEW!

Of course, somewhere in there I have to prepare my Corporate Taxes (need to get info to Al the accountant in next few days), prepare for xxx meeting (don't ask!!), get inventory cleaned up before sept 15th (HAH!) at least good enough for a guess-timate, and do a circle journal page. Also wanted to start that tag book for the store!

Oh yeah, and keep the store running, order new stuff, pay the bills, spend time with Evan and that guy I married, do laundry, clean the house (HAH!), take Delilah, my elderly cat to the Vet...hmmm, it may be time for a nap!

At least it's not boring......

I can't get excited about anything today

2005-08-19T09:13:00.000-07:00

I need a jump start. Should have gone to work out with Erika. Instead, I did my usual routine, and drove thru Mickey D's for a sausage egg biscuit and diet coke. At least Evan (DS) is at school today. He refuses to blow his nose, he's all stuffed up from his allergies.

I need to get my oil changed. How boring. I haven't ever gone to one of those Jiffy Lube places. DH says I need to go to Valvoline and get the special oil for old cars. Whatever. Why can't he just take care of it for me? Why do I hate automotive type places? The smell of grease, oil, tires (YUCK!) Definitely a man's world.

Just reread the last paragraph. I'm talking about my car, by the way. Although I could use an oil change or whatever the equivalent is for my brain!

I feel overwhelmed by everything in my life, I can't seem to get anything organized or under control. The house, the store, my health....I need a vacation, a different perspective on my life. I wish I could go back to the cabin retreat we had in Flagstaff (minus the dogs!) Cooler air, relaxed atmosphere, lots of cool gals, and creative energy flowing.

I AM excited about a project some of my friends are working on. I wish I could be more involved in it, I'm not sure how...just continue to mention ideas, inspirations, and maybe a little business advice. And support it like crazy!

Ok, maybe I'll make a plan for today:

1) Oil changed (in car)
2) Duh.......

let's try that again...

2) Work on inventory
3) Stock Bazzill
4) Brainstorm new customer rewards program
5) Scrappin' Sisters blog...this I can get excited about! I want to post every day what products have come in, what's going on....I think there are some customers out there who would really enjoy it! I can put a link on the web site!

Ok, now I have a plan. Now I just need to implement it. Oh yeah, and add

0) Shower and get ready!

If you made it through this very boring entry, thank you for sticking with me. :)

Is anyone out there?

2005-08-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

Just added site statistics to my blog. I'm not sure why. I'm just curious how many people are finding it. I added my blog to the 2 Peas Blog ring today, too. I guess I want to be included in the "community of bloggers" that seems to exist.

LOVE Donna Downey's suggestion of a "Blog Book". I think I will create/ask for a Scrappin' Sisters "Family" Book, ask all the design team, employees, and good customers to create a tag to include. Here's the info needed (borrowed from Donna D.):

1) create a tag...simply make sure your tag has a hole at the top for binding
design/embellish your tag as you wish - any color, any style, any size..be as creative as you wish
2) include any information/photos on your tag that will help me capture your piece in my blog story.
3) include your name on the tag somewhere

I like this way better than the ATC (Artist Trading Cards). We can display it at the store, see it grow over time. How cool!

Okay, Melissa, Kim, Ally, or anyone else who actually reads my blog...you're officially selected to create the first tags! I guess I should create a "cover" tag, too!

This, along with my "Tracy's Pen" assignment, should actually get me scrapbooking a little bit! Whoo-Hoo!

Who am I?

2005-08-09T10:07:00.000-07:00

Found this quiz on Blogthings, thru Katherine Brooks' blog. Here's me....

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Here's another one:

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.

You are always tactful and diplomatic. You let people down gently.

You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.

You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

One more, I was quite disappointed not to be genius in all categories!

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius
Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Wait a minute:

Your IQ Is 140

Your Logical Intelligence is Genius
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius
Your General Knowledge is Genius

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

That's better! I'm stubborn if nothing else, and quite vain about being smart.

Arizona Chain Reaction

2005-08-05T09:40:00.000-07:00

Yes! There are people out there who are fighting the chains!

Found this reference in a blog (using Marc Cuban's search engine) to Recollections and Scrapbook Stores. Just happened to be in Phoenix.

This lead me to an article in the AZ Rep about chain stores, and an organization, AZCR (Arizona Chain Reaction). I need to find out more about this. I like the "think independently, buy locally" motto. I'm not saying I never shop at chains. But I think we should be educated in our choices. What other choices are available? It's easier to go to a chain, they're very visible.

In my case, it may mean shopping at Bashas, a locally owned grocery store, instead of the others. I shop at Target instead of WalMart. Yes, Target is a chain, but WalMart seems to be taking over the world! Also, I like the quieter atmosphere at Target. WalMart seems like a feeding frenzy.

Some "chains" are locally owned businesses, or franchises. Although not all the purchases made by these companies - for signage, construction, etc. - may not be local choices, some of them have to be. And I support anyone who is trying to make it by owning their own business. We're a dying breed. Possibly crazy. But we believe in something. Working for yourself. Making it on your own. We're closer to our customers, more in tune with their everyday lives.

This one especially got me:

"Blighted empty shopping areas are created in your community when chain stores re-locate to a more lucrative shopping center, or leave altogether. Literally hundreds of big stores are abandoned each year across the United States."

I'm so tired of seing the abandoned shopping centers! Who decides that Albertson's needs to move 2 miles west, and leaves the other shopping center tenants to die? I was looking at Memory Basket's website. The store directions say they are just behind Popular sporting goods. Guess who has closed? Once a thriving mall, the back part of the mall is now a ghost town.

I could go on about this forever.

I would love to hear anyones comments on this, especially as it related to the Scrapbook industry.

Blog Surfing

2005-08-04T23:56:00.000-07:00

I'm sure there's another phrase for this already....starting with one blog, surfing through to the next..until you're not sure how you got there...

Tonight I started with Lindsay Teague, and managed to work my way thru to Bruce Willis!

An interesting journey...

Stayed in bed almost all day, everytime I tried to get up, I almost fell over. SEVERE dizziness. Finally found my anti-dizziness medicine, which didn't help much, then found some great decongestants, which have helped a lot. Unfortunately, I slept most of the day, so now it's after midnight and I'm wide awake.

Found a cool site for beads, Artbeads.com. Bad idea to visit, unless you want to spend, spend spend!

Nothing else to say...hopefully tomorrow (today) will be better, I can get some stuff done!

I just have to vent......SHT SHT SH*T!

2005-08-03T09:49:00.000-07:00

I am having so many problems getting in the stuff I need for the Designer's Workshop we are having this Saturday!

First it was the albums. We wanted to use the 8x8 preservation series albums from SEI, just like they did at CKU. Well, guess what?! They are "recalled" because the metal bindings are rusting!
Okay, backup plan: construct our own albums out of 8x8 page protectors (thanks Erika!)

Second, it was the KI paper. Every paper is available except the one I need for MY page. Backup plan: redo the page using the "I'll love you forever" paper. (also had to redo the stripe on the front of the album, which used the same paper)

Third, now the stupid Making Memories antique white label holders are not being shipped. AAARRRGGGHH! Yet another design change!

Somehow this will all come together and be fine! Why do I have these crazy ideas anyway?!! OH yeah, I remember, I'm trying to keep my stupid store going!

Okay, end of vent.

The good news is that school started today, and after 2 1/2 weeks of Mommy time, I can now go to the store unencumbered, no "When can we go home, Mommy?", no "Do you have to go to the store today? Why? You just went yesterday. Do you have to stay very long?" Ah the perils of trying to be a store owner and a good mom at the same time!

Post CHA blues....

2005-07-24T23:34:00.000-07:00

I think I've recovered from CHA. It was an interesting experience, being "on my own". There were lots of people to see, I can't believe how many familiar faces there are now. I ordered like crazy, I hope it doesn't all try to ship at once! I think I spread it out ok....looks like BasicGrey might be first! Yay! Also saw a charge from MM.....also Melissa Frances and Urban Lily!

Lots of new stuff to get excited about...so why am I not so excited? I am on a downward trend, which seems to be the only time I post...just the uncertain and depressing times....I feel like I'm on a treadmill going nowhere fast (although I could use the exercise!) Will things ever change? Will it get better? Will I ever get my life under control?

One thing that has been great lately is friends. I am so blessed to have met so many amazing people thru this hobby (sorry Teresa, stealing your words a little bit) ...Teresa, Kim K., Kim G., Ally, Anna, Jessie, Kerry, all my staff, and of course Erika. My design team, which was falling apart, but now seems to be coming back together. Our amazing weekend at the cabin, CKU, and any Friday we can all get together and scrap and chat. I wish I could relax and enjoy myself more, not always thinking about projects, classes, etc. I need to spend more "friend" time with everyone.

One of my favorite phrases is "onward and upward". I think I originally saw it in "The Chronicles of Narnia" - great series of "kids" books that I still love. Onward and upward. I've got to keep plugging away. I've got to figure out what my next focus should be. Financial, of course, but do we add beading? Do we concentrate on communication with the customers? We need to give them a reason to come to the store. I'm going to spend some time "researching" at our store and others, to try to figure out what makes one store more desirable than another.

Okay, there I go again. Sometimes I wish the store would just go away, so my life could be "normal" again. But not just yet....

Sad and Lonely.....

2005-07-04T14:23:00.000-07:00

I really miss my guys. They are in Iowa visiting Rick's parents. Usually I don't want to go, it's a slow-paced week, with the same events every time...the zoo, feed the geese, go to some train museum or something...but I am feeling very lonely and left out this time. Leaving for Chicago the day after they get back doesn't help.

Evan has become my best friend. I didn't realize it until he was gone. We do everything together. We bead together. We play Spongebob. We talk and laugh and have so many jokes that only we know. We have semi-adult conversations about everything in the world. I miss my baby. Lately he's really been extra cuddly, and says "I love you" all the time. He's even started kissing me again. Sweet little boy kisses.

I even miss Rick. It seems like we have bonded more during this last go-around with the store. We're in it together again. Plus, I finally realized how comfortable I am with our relationship. It's no longer daunting to think about being with the same person for the REST OF MY LIFE. I'm really looking forward to it. And he is such a sweetie sometimes. A bit of a pain sometimes too but look what he has to put up with. Our dreams have changed so much since 9/11. We were not so much happy as complacent in our respective jobs. We had (have) a nice house, a great kid, who has become such a joy to be around after our struggles with his depression and asthma. We had (definitely past tense) a retirement account building, and a prosperous future.

Then 9/11. The world changed. Nothing is the same. Our innocence is gone. We are no longer safe to live our lives in a cocoon of complacency. What we do as a country affects other people and we can't just ignore it.

I lost my job. A nice "early retirement" package, but that paid for the condo. Then this crazy idea about buying a scrapbook store. I had no idea what I was getting into! I don't want to go into all of that right now, just the other ways it changed our lives. Our house has never been the same. My laundry has only been caught up ONCE in about THREE YEARS. And no safety net. No more retirement. No more sources of credit to tap in an emergency. We've put everything into the store. And everytime we're about to give up, we get new hope. New ideas. A little more money. This time has to be the one. Or life will change again.

I'm sooooo tired........

2005-06-27T09:45:00.000-07:00

OMG, what a long and exhausting weekend. We had a booth (and a class and a crop and a make 'n' take) at the Rubber Stamp and Scrapbook Expo in Glendale. Took weeks to prepare, ordering stuff, picking out fixtures, renting a truck (thanks Taira!) and all the MOVING and SETUP Friday (thanks Pop) and Saturday and Sunday. Was very successful, but I'm not sure I'd do it again. Maybe when I've recovered...

The crop was a riot. Started totally as a disaster. The room was HOT, the A/C sucked. They had added a fan, and tried to round up more. The hotel was pretty much a dump anyway, although people that stayed there said it was OK. We were going to limit drinks to two per person, so we wouldn't run out, but after the heat and the discovery of a 24 hour Wal-Mart down the road, we let them have as much as they wanted! Also bought two $10 box fans at Lowes, which made it almost bearable (and which the hotel will be paying for). Ended up having a great time anyway, everyone was having fun and in a good mood. The purse contest was the BEST, everyone participated. Also lots of fun with the scavenger hunt, although some ladies were dumbfounded at the amount of stuff some of us scrap crazies collect and drag with us!

We actually plan to make t-shirts to send to everyone "I survived the Expo Crop" with a box fan on the back.....It was kind of a bonding experience.

Thanks to Sheryl for all her help and support throughout the EXPO. She is amazing, and always there when you need her. My parents were also amazing, Ron helped so much with setup and breakdown and general support. Mom took care of Evan most of the weekend, and also helped set up Saturday. Evan was so patient about the whole thing. And Taira.....wow. Almost unending energy (until the end!) and enthusiasm.

And Kim was a great help! Friday's class went great, she helped with the booth, and I couldn't have done the make 'n' take without her! Her poor family must be feeling a bit neglected, tho! And Jessie from CH also helped at the class, and got to make a book herself!

The girls at the store kept things going, although I was a bit peeved when I realized that all the adhesives just sat there all weekend without being put out (then realized I had the price gun, DUH!) Joni, you are amazing! And the ribbon chart was great! Everyone loved your pages and frame! So when are you going to *NOT* be published?? :)

Time for a nap. Then I will try to get my life back in order.

TFL!

Been busy lately...

2005-06-02T22:56:00.000-07:00

I really should post more often, and fix up my blog with cool graphics like other people I've seen. But who has that much time?

CKU in Anaheim was awesome. Life Changing. I met the most wonderful people. Jessie, Leah, Suzanne, Becky, Roxanne, Sara T..got to see some old friends like Teresa (not OLD) and even ran into LB, TW, and others...got to know Ally, Kim, and Anna (Bling) better....got some great advice on the store after I pulled myself out of my blue funk...I hate it when Erika is right!

I'm up and down lately, a big improvement over only being down....one day I have amazing ideas and inspiration, and the next, why bother even getting out of bed? We are getting our house appraised tomorrow, hopefully it will be worth enough to refinance for some extra cash to get us thru a little longer. What a pain it has been to get the house cleaned up, which is depressing in itself...I wish we had a beautiful, organized house all the time! Getting slowly better at it, tho...

Scrapper's Dream closing....mixed feelings about that, it hits so close to home, but maybe we'll pick up a few customers? I feel so bad for Kim, no one can really know except another store owner how we put our hearts into it, not to mention way too much money...we make mistakes, we drive some people away....it's impossible to keep everyone happy. What a wonderful staff I have, Lynzee, Candy, Sue and everyone else who care more about the success of the store than the money or job I provide. It's been a long road, I'm not ready to give up yet, although DH would love to. Just taking it one day at a time....

Listening to Green Day and Coldplay lately since I got their CDs. Downloading ITunes as I'm writing this, thanks to Cathy Z....

Missing Callie....

Not a great picture, but the only one I could find online. We put her to sleep last Friday, her kidneys were failing, and she was miserable. What a sweet kitty she was, she had 2 wonderful lives, one in Iowa for 10 years, with 4 litters of kittens, and her retirement here in Phoenix, where she only had to put up with Barkley and Delilah. Funny how the two of them are much nicer to each other now that Callie is gone.

Photobucket

2005-05-25T09:12:00.000-07:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

2 days to go.....yo 'homes to CKU!

2005-05-16T22:29:00.000-07:00

SO excited about CKU Masters in Anaheim....I've been so distracted by Natl Scrap Day (which was excellent, by the way, the SECOND HIGHEST sales day EVER), then the following week when the sales were so low (everyone spent all their money over the weekend?) Trying to decide what to do about the store, looks like we're going to give it one more shot. We've had a couple of smallish financial "breakthrus", in other words a new credit card and a refinance op...

I've been practicing our Tracy's Pen song a lot...Evan is singing it now, too! Doing laundry, getting ready to pack. Must remember to take clothes, as my Mom reminded me! How much scrap stuff to take? Probably a Nav, plus whatever stacks comfortably on it. A separate bag for classes, just like convention. Still need to get the pants, or just wear black jeans? Need to plug in the batteries for the ....... video camera, what else? Can't miss the op to film this historic moment...

Oh yeah, and the nametag, which I can finish Wednesday night (or on the road) if necessary. Tomorrow I'll focus on store stuff, getting all situated for my absence. And try to fit in a manicure....

Is it time to go yet? Of course we have to leave at the ungodly hour of 6:30, or was it 6:15? I guess I can just jump in the shower, brush my teeth, throw on clothes and GO. Makeup can wait. Hope I don't scare anyone.....I'm sure I'll be up late Tuesday night, last minute packing and whatnot...

Let's see, 1 day, and 8 hours (just under) to go. Haven't decided about taking a layout, maybe just the "Evan at (almost) eight" layout, it's already scanned. Do I want to take an album of my work? I'm sure everyone else will.....all my layouts are on the wall right now.

So excited about Erika's possible new opportunities! Hope it can work out to the store's advantage as well. Not being selfish, I just want the store to succeed. Where would we go to scrap, otherwise?

Hmmmmmm.....gotta wind down. Maybe tomorrow I will have a chance to buy some new tunes for the road, but with 5 gals (one of them Erika) there's not gonna be a lot of op to pick music!

Love ya, Tracy's girls! This is gonna be da bomb!

Welcome to my little world....

2005-05-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

I actually sent a link to this to some trusted friends....I hope they don't think I'm insane. Or maybe I am....

I've become addicted to blogs. I have a whole group that I check everyday, which often leads to other blogs, other links, products I have to have, like cool rub on letters for the wall, or an Iron thingy that says "It's all good" .....

removed text here.....

Is it Art?

2005-04-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

Took a challenge on 2 Peas that was a lot more fun than I expected. I call it Cool blue.

Seems like I always have great intentions to get stuff done.....organize the house, get caught up at the store...new promotion ideas, project ideas, AAARRRGGGHHHH! But I just want to go back to bed. Is this the depression thing? Is this just getting old? Do I have no self-discipline? Maybe if I started working out with Erika and Kerry......

Yesterday Evan had his infected tooth pulled. What could have been a traumatic day actually turned out quite nice. He was a real trooper at the dentist. After the numbness began to wear off, and he started to complain about the pain, we went to get Ice Cream at Cold Stone Creamery. He had TWO BOWLS. After that, the pain was gone, and he was happy as can be (although a little hyper). Went to the park for awhile. After Daddy got home, we went to Pets Mart and got a bigger tank and some cool stuff for our hermit crabs. I picked out a new, tiny one, which we named "Pee Wee, Jr.". We bought a new shell for Mr. Krabs, and he moved in overnight. These guys are so much more fun than I every imagined they could be! Very interactive.

I love all the blogs from people who are focusing on the small miracles in their lives: Cathy Z, Tara, Ally..they've given me so much inspiration and insight into their lives. Also love Teri Fode's blog...lots of photo inspiration!

Maybe I should move over to typepad with all the "Cool People".....

Owning a Store....

2005-04-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

Owning a scrapbook store is really a love/hate kinda thing. There are days when you feel like you're doing something amazing....you see people make life long friendships at your store. We really get involved in each others lives, it's like a support group.

Other days just suck. I wonder why I wanted to do this. It's not really a money-making venture. If you're lucky, you break even every month. The customers don't really understand how hard it is to keep it going, and what an impact it can have when a new store (or TWO!) open nearby. You try to pick the right stuff to carry, but it's never enough. Your employees act like preschoolers. You have to be nice to your customers, no matter how they treat you.

How do you make yourself stand out?

My husband is wonderful, supportive, but some days he just wants our old life back, when we could comfortably pay the bills, when I was home on evenings and weekends, and not travelling to trade shows and conventions 3-5 times a year.

We've had some wonderful things happen in the last few weeks. Our email newsletter will be featured in an upcoming ad. One of our best teachers and design team members, Kim Kesti, was recognized in this year's CK Hall of Fame, the who's who of scrapbooking. We've been asked to coordinate and run the crop at the Rubber Stamp and Scrapbook Expo in June. I already have two vendors lined up! I hope all of these positive things translate to better sales for the store, and a better future.

I really don't want to go back to computer programming at a large anonymous corporation again.................and this really means something to me!

First Timer

2005-04-05T10:00:00.000-07:00

So this is my first blog....totally caught the Blog bug from Kim Kesti and Kristin Holly. Kim is a friend, but Kristin I've just seen online at Two Peas. Love her blog.

Last week was amazing....Kim was announced as a HOF winner, Teresa Collins from Rusty Pickle taught a class at our store, then we all went to the CK convention in Mesa....what a crazy time! We had lots of laughs at the Friday night crop, especially dressing our friend Kerry up in Scrapworks paper and embellishments! We won first prize in the contest! Met lots of cool people, too.