Post CHA blues....

I think I've recovered from CHA. It was an interesting experience, being "on my own". There were lots of people to see, I can't believe how many familiar faces there are now. I ordered like crazy, I hope it doesn't all try to ship at once! I think I spread it out ok....looks like BasicGrey might be first! Yay! Also saw a charge from MM.....also Melissa Frances and Urban Lily!

Lots of new stuff to get excited about...so why am I not so excited? I am on a downward trend, which seems to be the only time I post...just the uncertain and depressing times....I feel like I'm on a treadmill going nowhere fast (although I could use the exercise!) Will things ever change? Will it get better? Will I ever get my life under control?

One thing that has been great lately is friends. I am so blessed to have met so many amazing people thru this hobby (sorry Teresa, stealing your words a little bit) ...Teresa, Kim K., Kim G., Ally, Anna, Jessie, Kerry, all my staff, and of course Erika. My design team, which was falling apart, but now seems to be coming back together. Our amazing weekend at the cabin, CKU, and any Friday we can all get together and scrap and chat. I wish I could relax and enjoy myself more, not always thinking about projects, classes, etc. I need to spend more "friend" time with everyone.

One of my favorite phrases is "onward and upward". I think I originally saw it in "The Chronicles of Narnia" - great series of "kids" books that I still love. Onward and upward. I've got to keep plugging away. I've got to figure out what my next focus should be. Financial, of course, but do we add beading? Do we concentrate on communication with the customers? We need to give them a reason to come to the store. I'm going to spend some time "researching" at our store and others, to try to figure out what makes one store more desirable than another.

Okay, there I go again. Sometimes I wish the store would just go away, so my life could be "normal" again. But not just yet....

Sad and Lonely.....

I really miss my guys. They are in Iowa visiting Rick's parents. Usually I don't want to go, it's a slow-paced week, with the same events every time...the zoo, feed the geese, go to some train museum or something...but I am feeling very lonely and left out this time. Leaving for Chicago the day after they get back doesn't help.

Evan has become my best friend. I didn't realize it until he was gone. We do everything together. We bead together. We play Spongebob. We talk and laugh and have so many jokes that only we know. We have semi-adult conversations about everything in the world. I miss my baby. Lately he's really been extra cuddly, and says "I love you" all the time. He's even started kissing me again. Sweet little boy kisses.

I even miss Rick. It seems like we have bonded more during this last go-around with the store. We're in it together again. Plus, I finally realized how comfortable I am with our relationship. It's no longer daunting to think about being with the same person for the REST OF MY LIFE. I'm really looking forward to it. And he is such a sweetie sometimes. A bit of a pain sometimes too but look what he has to put up with. Our dreams have changed so much since 9/11. We were not so much happy as complacent in our respective jobs. We had (have) a nice house, a great kid, who has become such a joy to be around after our struggles with his depression and asthma. We had (definitely past tense) a retirement account building, and a prosperous future.

Then 9/11. The world changed. Nothing is the same. Our innocence is gone. We are no longer safe to live our lives in a cocoon of complacency. What we do as a country affects other people and we can't just ignore it.

I lost my job. A nice "early retirement" package, but that paid for the condo. Then this crazy idea about buying a scrapbook store. I had no idea what I was getting into! I don't want to go into all of that right now, just the other ways it changed our lives. Our house has never been the same. My laundry has only been caught up ONCE in about THREE YEARS. And no safety net. No more retirement. No more sources of credit to tap in an emergency. We've put everything into the store. And everytime we're about to give up, we get new hope. New ideas. A little more money. This time has to be the one. Or life will change again.

I'm sooooo tired........

OMG, what a long and exhausting weekend. We had a booth (and a class and a crop and a make 'n' take) at the Rubber Stamp and Scrapbook Expo in Glendale. Took weeks to prepare, ordering stuff, picking out fixtures, renting a truck (thanks Taira!) and all the MOVING and SETUP Friday (thanks Pop) and Saturday and Sunday. Was very successful, but I'm not sure I'd do it again. Maybe when I've recovered...

The crop was a riot. Started totally as a disaster. The room was HOT, the A/C sucked. They had added a fan, and tried to round up more. The hotel was pretty much a dump anyway, although people that stayed there said it was OK. We were going to limit drinks to two per person, so we wouldn't run out, but after the heat and the discovery of a 24 hour Wal-Mart down the road, we let them have as much as they wanted! Also bought two $10 box fans at Lowes, which made it almost bearable (and which the hotel will be paying for). Ended up having a great time anyway, everyone was having fun and in a good mood. The purse contest was the BEST, everyone participated. Also lots of fun with the scavenger hunt, although some ladies were dumbfounded at the amount of stuff some of us scrap crazies collect and drag with us!

We actually plan to make t-shirts to send to everyone "I survived the Expo Crop" with a box fan on the back.....It was kind of a bonding experience.

Thanks to Sheryl for all her help and support throughout the EXPO. She is amazing, and always there when you need her. My parents were also amazing, Ron helped so much with setup and breakdown and general support. Mom took care of Evan most of the weekend, and also helped set up Saturday. Evan was so patient about the whole thing. And Taira.....wow. Almost unending energy (until the end!) and enthusiasm.

And Kim was a great help! Friday's class went great, she helped with the booth, and I couldn't have done the make 'n' take without her! Her poor family must be feeling a bit neglected, tho! And Jessie from CH also helped at the class, and got to make a book herself!

The girls at the store kept things going, although I was a bit peeved when I realized that all the adhesives just sat there all weekend without being put out (then realized I had the price gun, DUH!) Joni, you are amazing! And the ribbon chart was great! Everyone loved your pages and frame! So when are you going to *NOT* be published?? :)

Time for a nap. Then I will try to get my life back in order.

TFL!

Been busy lately...

I really should post more often, and fix up my blog with cool graphics like other people I've seen. But who has that much time?

CKU in Anaheim was awesome. Life Changing. I met the most wonderful people. Jessie, Leah, Suzanne, Becky, Roxanne, Sara T..got to see some old friends like Teresa (not OLD) and even ran into LB, TW, and others...got to know Ally, Kim, and Anna (Bling) better....got some great advice on the store after I pulled myself out of my blue funk...I hate it when Erika is right!

I'm up and down lately, a big improvement over only being down....one day I have amazing ideas and inspiration, and the next, why bother even getting out of bed? We are getting our house appraised tomorrow, hopefully it will be worth enough to refinance for some extra cash to get us thru a little longer. What a pain it has been to get the house cleaned up, which is depressing in itself...I wish we had a beautiful, organized house all the time! Getting slowly better at it, tho...

Scrapper's Dream closing....mixed feelings about that, it hits so close to home, but maybe we'll pick up a few customers? I feel so bad for Kim, no one can really know except another store owner how we put our hearts into it, not to mention way too much money...we make mistakes, we drive some people away....it's impossible to keep everyone happy. What a wonderful staff I have, Lynzee, Candy, Sue and everyone else who care more about the success of the store than the money or job I provide. It's been a long road, I'm not ready to give up yet, although DH would love to. Just taking it one day at a time....

Listening to Green Day and Coldplay lately since I got their CDs. Downloading ITunes as I'm writing this, thanks to Cathy Z....


Missing Callie....


Not a great picture, but the only one I could find online. We put her to sleep last Friday, her kidneys were failing, and she was miserable. What a sweet kitty she was, she had 2 wonderful lives, one in Iowa for 10 years, with 4 litters of kittens, and her retirement here in Phoenix, where she only had to put up with Barkley and Delilah. Funny how the two of them are much nicer to each other now that Callie is gone.

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2 days to go.....yo 'homes to CKU!

SO excited about CKU Masters in Anaheim....I've been so distracted by Natl Scrap Day (which was excellent, by the way, the SECOND HIGHEST sales day EVER), then the following week when the sales were so low (everyone spent all their money over the weekend?) Trying to decide what to do about the store, looks like we're going to give it one more shot. We've had a couple of smallish financial "breakthrus", in other words a new credit card and a refinance op...

I've been practicing our Tracy's Pen song a lot...Evan is singing it now, too! Doing laundry, getting ready to pack. Must remember to take clothes, as my Mom reminded me! How much scrap stuff to take? Probably a Nav, plus whatever stacks comfortably on it. A separate bag for classes, just like convention. Still need to get the pants, or just wear black jeans? Need to plug in the batteries for the ....... video camera, what else? Can't miss the op to film this historic moment...

Oh yeah, and the nametag, which I can finish Wednesday night (or on the road) if necessary. Tomorrow I'll focus on store stuff, getting all situated for my absence. And try to fit in a manicure....

Is it time to go yet? Of course we have to leave at the ungodly hour of 6:30, or was it 6:15? I guess I can just jump in the shower, brush my teeth, throw on clothes and GO. Makeup can wait. Hope I don't scare anyone.....I'm sure I'll be up late Tuesday night, last minute packing and whatnot...

Let's see, 1 day, and 8 hours (just under) to go. Haven't decided about taking a layout, maybe just the "Evan at (almost) eight" layout, it's already scanned. Do I want to take an album of my work? I'm sure everyone else will.....all my layouts are on the wall right now.

So excited about Erika's possible new opportunities! Hope it can work out to the store's advantage as well. Not being selfish, I just want the store to succeed. Where would we go to scrap, otherwise?

Hmmmmmm.....gotta wind down. Maybe tomorrow I will have a chance to buy some new tunes for the road, but with 5 gals (one of them Erika) there's not gonna be a lot of op to pick music!

Love ya, Tracy's girls! This is gonna be da bomb!

Welcome to my little world....

I actually sent a link to this to some trusted friends....I hope they don't think I'm insane. Or maybe I am....

I've become addicted to blogs. I have a whole group that I check everyday, which often leads to other blogs, other links, products I have to have, like cool rub on letters for the wall, or an Iron thingy that says "It's all good" .....

removed text here.....

Is it Art?

Took a challenge on 2 Peas that was a lot more fun than I expected. I call it Cool blue.

Seems like I always have great intentions to get stuff done.....organize the house, get caught up at the store...new promotion ideas, project ideas, AAARRRGGGHHHH! But I just want to go back to bed. Is this the depression thing? Is this just getting old? Do I have no self-discipline? Maybe if I started working out with Erika and Kerry......

Yesterday Evan had his infected tooth pulled. What could have been a traumatic day actually turned out quite nice. He was a real trooper at the dentist. After the numbness began to wear off, and he started to complain about the pain, we went to get Ice Cream at Cold Stone Creamery. He had TWO BOWLS. After that, the pain was gone, and he was happy as can be (although a little hyper). Went to the park for awhile. After Daddy got home, we went to Pets Mart and got a bigger tank and some cool stuff for our hermit crabs. I picked out a new, tiny one, which we named "Pee Wee, Jr.". We bought a new shell for Mr. Krabs, and he moved in overnight. These guys are so much more fun than I every imagined they could be! Very interactive.

I love all the blogs from people who are focusing on the small miracles in their lives: Cathy Z, Tara, Ally..they've given me so much inspiration and insight into their lives. Also love Teri Fode's blog...lots of photo inspiration!

Maybe I should move over to typepad with all the "Cool People".....

Owning a Store....

Owning a scrapbook store is really a love/hate kinda thing. There are days when you feel like you're doing something amazing....you see people make life long friendships at your store. We really get involved in each others lives, it's like a support group.

Other days just suck. I wonder why I wanted to do this. It's not really a money-making venture. If you're lucky, you break even every month. The customers don't really understand how hard it is to keep it going, and what an impact it can have when a new store (or TWO!) open nearby. You try to pick the right stuff to carry, but it's never enough. Your employees act like preschoolers. You have to be nice to your customers, no matter how they treat you.

How do you make yourself stand out?

My husband is wonderful, supportive, but some days he just wants our old life back, when we could comfortably pay the bills, when I was home on evenings and weekends, and not travelling to trade shows and conventions 3-5 times a year.

We've had some wonderful things happen in the last few weeks. Our email newsletter will be featured in an upcoming ad. One of our best teachers and design team members, Kim Kesti, was recognized in this year's CK Hall of Fame, the who's who of scrapbooking. We've been asked to coordinate and run the crop at the Rubber Stamp and Scrapbook Expo in June. I already have two vendors lined up! I hope all of these positive things translate to better sales for the store, and a better future.

I really don't want to go back to computer programming at a large anonymous corporation again.................and this really means something to me!

First Timer

So this is my first blog....totally caught the Blog bug from Kim Kesti and Kristin Holly. Kim is a friend, but Kristin I've just seen online at Two Peas. Love her blog.

Last week was amazing....Kim was announced as a HOF winner, Teresa Collins from Rusty Pickle taught a class at our store, then we all went to the CK convention in Mesa....what a crazy time! We had lots of laughs at the Friday night crop, especially dressing our friend Kerry up in Scrapworks paper and embellishments! We won first prize in the contest! Met lots of cool people, too.