What can I say?

Warning: Long and Moody Post

So...I haven't been motivated to post anything lately. My mood seems to jump around so much lately (or always). My focus is gone, and I'm not sure where I'm going anymore.

I told Rick (DH) the other day that the two reasons I still want to keep the store are:

1) Pride
2) Need someplace for me and my friends to scrap

I think I can cross #1 off the list. I don't really care what anyone thinks if we decide to close, I just have to do what's right for us. But ask me in an hour, and I'll be rarin' to go again!

Reasons to not keep the store:

1) Get my life back! Focus on something else!
2) Spend more time at home, with Evan.
3) Start using our money for something else, like retirement
4) Maybe find a real job? Contribute to the household income?
5) Catch up on laundry, really CLEAN the house.

See, this is why I don't post very often. Too many dark thoughts.

If you're reading this, and don't know me very well, let me just warn you that I'm a "bit" moody. I am also totally burned out on the scrapbook store. But I still want to make it work! I'm just tired of every thought, conversation, vacation, everything, being about the store. It's like it's become an entity unto itself! It's much bigger than I am. It exists without me. It is a sum of all the people who care or are involved in it....the employees, the design team, the great customers, the reps, and of course my family. I have met so many incredible people thru it, and seen so many people become friends. It's so meaningful and gratifying when it works well. But there are always the times it slows down, or some financial crisis rears its' ugly head, or I'm exhausted from all the time I spend on a particular project/event, stuff gets stolen, employee issues, the toilet breaks, yadda, yadda, yadda....

On the bright side, it was nice to see friends this weekend at the convention. Jessie and Leah especially. I would post a picture of Jessie & I but I don't know where my camera is, probably at the store. I can't believe that no one was taking pictures Saturday night! My mental snapshots: the broken toilet, the broken table, the champagne bottle, Ally painting her drawers, Jessie dumping Leah's bag, Gillian dropping her stamp, crowded around the TV watching the Tracy's Pen rap video...what a dork I was! Reliving the "pen" days and looking through photos...sigh....the glory days. When you have an amazing weekend/experience like CKU-M, it makes everything else seem mundane. You can try to recapture the experience, but it's never the same.

Okay, now for some POSITIVE THINKING! I was looking through the latest issue of Scrapbook Retailer...really the best trade magazine out there! I saw so many ideas I want to implement in the store...even the cover is an inspiration, with the beautiful ribbons in rich jewel tones....

THE LIST:

1) Organization class - we already had this idea, "Store It!" More tips in here!
2) New gift cards
3) Open House with gift wrap and tag ideas
4) Calendar class
5) Making decisions using numbers instead of emotion
6) Focusing on our "brand"
7) More personalizing in the store
8) Cultivating new customers through non-traditional advertising methods
9) A recipe book - Deanna already has this covered!
10) Lots more holiday ideas

And of course, THE SURVEY. I've got to get that done!

I'm starting to see some new stuff and previews for Memory Trends. I wonder if anything will rock the scrapbook world? Or are we too jaded for that?

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming...